


A Momentary Lapse of Reason

by Bethynyc



Category: Doctor Who, Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethynyc/pseuds/Bethynyc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt hides from bullies in a closet. Only it isn't a closet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Kurt slammed through the swinging doors marked EMPLOYEES ONLY and sprinted down the corridor. What the hell was Karofsky doing here? This was the upscale mall; the football players usually hung out at the crappy mall, the one that didn't have a Nordstroms. He clung to his bookbag and ran faster, the clomping of his pursuers echoing behind him.

Something up ahead, a blue closet or locker. If he could just get in there and stay quiet, maybe they wouldn't find him. He had the feeling if they did find him, it would be worse than being pushed into a locker or getting slushied.

He flung himself against the door, jiggling the handle. “Come on, come on, let me in, _please_.”

The door opened and Kurt squeezed in, closing the door quickly and sinking to the floor. He leaned back against the door and tried to catch his breath, hands over his face.

“Um, excuse me?” said an adult voice with a British accent. “How did you get in here?”

Kurt looked up. A tall man wearing a leather jacket stood in front of him, arms folded. Flanking him were a bleached blonde girl with bad eye makeup and a second man with blue eyes and a smirk that threatened to break out at any moment. “Um, it just opened.” He looked around. The closet must have been a door to another room. “I thought it was a closet. Where I could hide.”

Blue eyes did smirk at that. “Nope, not a closet.” He reached out his hand and helped Kurt up. “I'm Captain Jack Harkness.”

“Stop that, he's too young for you.” said Leather Jacket.

Captain Harkness just rolled his eyes at him. “I'm just saying hello.” He winked as he shook Kurt's hand. “That's Rose, and that's the Doctor.”

“Nice to meet you. I'm Kurt Hummel.”

Rose stepped forward. “Hello.” A strange whooshing noise started, and she whipped her head around to the Doctor. “What are you doing? He's still here!”

“Too late! If the TARDIS let him in, then he's going on a little trip.” The room swerved and tipped and Kurt clung to Rose and the Captain tightly.

“How are we going anywhere?” he asked Rose.

She grinned at him and dragged him over to the huge console in the middle of the room. “We're in a space ship.”

“And a time machine, don't forget that,” chimed in the Captain.

Kurt held onto part of the console. “You have got to be kidding me? A space ship and a time machine? In a mall in Ohio?”

“Is that where we were? Jack had a craving for some bad sushi, so we stopped off on our way to a concert.” The Doctor smiled widely, and Kurt's mouth curved up in reply. “And we picked up a stray. Again.” He glared at Rose, who laughed.

The Captain—Jack—patted Kurt on his shoulder. “Don't worry, this is just a short trip. We'll have you back in no time.”

The grinding, whooshing noise and movement suddenly stopped. “Here we are! Welcome to Ohio in May of nineteen eighty-eight.” The Doctor strode down the steps to the door. “And if I'm right, we're just in time for the second half.”

Kurt stepped out, Rose linking her arm in his. It reminded him of walking with Mercedes. They strolled along the field, watching the people relaxing during the intermission. “Are we really in 1988?”

Rose looked around at the crowd. “Not sure...big hair, band shirts?”

“Oh my god.” Kurt stopped suddenly, staring around him. “It must be. Ohio was totally mullet-land in 1988.” The lights dimmed, and the crowd roared, rising to its feet. A throbbing bass line started, followed by keening keyboards and wailing guitars.

He patted Rose's hand and shouted in her ear. “Listen, this really isn't my scene. Madonna, perhaps, or Depeche Mode, but not Pink Floyd.”

Rose nodded. “It is a little overwhelming, innit? Jack's in the TARDIS, so just knock.” She waved and jogged off into the crowd.

Kurt was a little turned around, but managed to find his way back to the blue box at the end of a row of porta-potties. The crowd bellowed, and he saw people around him pointing. He looked up to see a giant inflated pig floating over the stage. _One of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces!_ reverberated through the stadium. Kurt turned back to the TARDIS, and was slammed into by a gangly young man with more hair than anything else, who spilled beer all over Kurt's designer shirt.

“Oh! Sorry, sorry man!” The young man grinned drunkenly. “Waste of bad beer, but hey. You okay?”

“Fine!” Kurt squeaked, and staggered back against the TARDIS. He knocked quickly and was dragged inside to the mercifully quiet space ship.

“Too much for you?” asked Jack.

“My father just spilled beer on me. And he has a _mullet_ ,” Kurt said in disgust.

Jack laughed. “I'll get you a clean shirt. We can throw yours in the laundry. The _sonic_ laundry.”

The shirt was vintage and much too large. He had a feeling it belonged to Jack, and that warmed him inside. He sat on a step, and looked up when Jack came over with two steaming mugs.

“Here.” Jack handed him a mug of coffee. “You want to talk about it?”

That simple question, spoken in such a kind tone, opened the gates. Kurt let it all spill out—the bullying, the loneliness, the hopeless crush on Finn last year, his fears for his father—Jack listened to all of it, completely accepting. When Kurt finally ran down, Jack put an arm around his shoulders.

“What you just said, all of it, just proves what an extraordinary person you are. You are worth it, Kurt, and you will find someone amazing to share your life with.” Jack grinned. “And if I'd met you when I was sixteen, I'd totally be all over you.”

Kurt smiled. “Thanks.”

When the concert was over and Kurt's shirt was clean, the Doctor brought him back home. “My favorite stray ever. You didn't run off, you didn't get into trouble, and best of all, you didn't die!” The three of them waved cheerily from the TARDIS in his back yard.

When he got inside, Burt was there. “What was that noise?” he asked.

“Don't know,” answered Kurt, and sat down on the couch to watch the news with his dad.

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Does Grandma have any pictures of you when you were young?” Kurt turned and smiled cheekily at his father. “See, I had a really weird dream last night, and you were there. With a mullet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Set before “Boom Town” in Doctor Who and after “Never Been Kissed” in Glee. Mullet abuse. Thank you to the delightful malinaldarose for her beta. Written for crossovers_las prompt 'When Pigs Fly' and inspired by Pink Floyd. Expanded from the original LAS post.


End file.
